The Practice of Thanksgiving: Real Talk about Gratitude and Mental Health with a Christian Therapist
The Thanksgiving feast ushers in the holiday season, reminding us that this special time of year has arrived! These months are marked by both intense consumption and, hopefully, thoughtful contemplation. Favorite meals are enjoyed, black Friday deals are purchased, programs are planned, miles are traveled and somewhere in the midst of all of that, Thanksgiving reminds us to search for reasons to be grateful. For many, this is a welcome exercise, but for others, gratitude can feel elusive. So, why is gratitude so important, and how can we prioritize it, regardless of our circumstances?
Gratitude is the practice of finding contentment and even joy in one’s circumstances, regardless of how imperfect or challenging they are. Gratitude is available to all of us, even in the midst of pain and grief. For those who are truly hurting, gratitude can feel like a cruel expectation. However, at the most basic level, if you can read this article, you can be grateful for something. For example, you have the ability to read–someone taught you to do that many years ago and took careful time to make sure you had this basic life skill. Also, your brain is capable of reading and understanding these words. If we really stop and think about it, that is pretty amazing in and of itself. In addition, you are using a device that gives you access to our blog; this either represents someone’s generosity towards you or your own ability to work hard and earn money–both facts that point to your access to a privilege. For all of these things, you can be grateful right now in this very moment. This exercise of finding the treasure of gratitude in the everyday is a simple one, but it has a profound impact on our perspective and overall sense of well-being.
Gratitude and circumstances don’t necessarily have a causational correlation. In fact, the more challenging your circumstances are, the more important it is that you find a perspective of gratitude in order to protect your mental and spiritual health. Someone can live a life of extreme privilege and wealth, but feel miserable and discontent, while another person can live a simple life without wealth and status and can even endure extreme hardship in their circumstances while feeling content and grateful to be alive. In other words, gratitude is a practice and not the natural perspective of those with an easy or good life.
Gratitude is the deliberate reorientation of the brain towards contentment and peace, rather than fear and dread. Gratitude does not always come naturally to us, and for good biological reasons, but study after study points to the benefits of gratitude on our mental health. Why doesn’t gratitude always come naturally? The human brain is amazing at keeping us safe–because it is so good at that and it was designed to prioritize that above all other functions, it is not always naturally good at finding contentment, especially in difficult times. The more activated your stress responses are, the more likely your brain is to gravitate towards thoughts of dread and anxiety because your brain finds these thoughts to be protective for you. What this tells us is that gratitude cannot be based on circumstances and we can’t afford to wait until it feels natural in order to find reasons to be thankful and content.
In Paul’s letter to the Philippians, he spoke to them about contentment. At the end of his letter he implores them: “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is praiseworthy–think about these things (Phillipians 4:8 NIV). He understood that our thoughts must be wielded intentionally towards this perspective of gratitude and that it is important that we fight to think about good things whenever and however we can. He knew that in order to find the peace of Christ, we had to fight the battle in our minds that relentlessly veer like a magnet towards anxiety and dread, constantly wanting to focus on the bad and prepare for the worst. Some of us struggle with this more than others and our brain chemistry makes it genuinely impossible to engage these exercises without medical intervention or professional help. Even if you have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and are receiving professional help in the form of medication and/or therapy, you can still practice the art of thinking true and good thoughts in order to stay well–and these practices you must take like medicine every single day in order to keep your mind healthy.
Gratitude can be practiced when it doesn’t come naturally. While our brain feels most comfortable engaging protective thoughts that are fearful, we CAN direct our brain and our thoughts towards gratitude if we are intentional. This intentional practice helps to create new pathways in our brain and engages the brain’s ability to change. The practice of journaling can help to externalize thoughts of gratitude and can help to tune our thoughts more acutely to the possibility of gratitude in our everyday lives. The simple act of finding five things to be grateful for as a daily habit and then documenting these things can help to make your mind a more receptive place for gratitude instead of fear and dread. Taking time to intentionally identify things you can be grateful for can help you to gravitate towards a more content and grateful perspective on the rest of your day.
Gratitude is a challenge worth accepting. Make the practice of gratitude a part of your daily rhythm of self care today in your journey to restoration and invest in your brain’s ability to find contentment, even when life is hard.
If you are reading this and are feeling you need help finding areas in your life to be content, then let’s get on a call and see if one our Christian therapists is a good fit for you!
